Writing letters to your future and past selves

Letter-writing activities challenge you to think about who you are, who you were and who you want to be. Writing letters can be both extremely emotionally freeing and help you think critically about how you should live now. There are many types of letters to write to yourself; here we highlight two:

• Writing to you future self
• Writing to your past self

Writing a letter to your future self

This activity is about imagining where you are and who you are going to be sometime in the future. Five years is often used as the point in the future to envision as it is both far enough away that your life could be completely different, but close enough for it to seem tangible.

This letter will focus on who you want to be and what you have accomplished between now and then.

Steps

• Identify a date in the future (for example five years)
• Write the letter to yourself to be received on that day in the future
• Write it as an actual letter
• In your letter address questions like the following:
  • Who do I want to be?
  • Where do I want to be?
  • What do I want to have done?
  • Who do I want to be with?
  • What of my hobbies have I developed?
  • What friends do I still see and prioritise?
  • What kind of new friends have I made? Where sorts of places did I meet them?
• Once drafted, read the letter again. Does it seem right? Do you want to make any changes?
• When you are happy with your letter, continue to the next step immediately or put it away for a couple of days and then return to it (recommended).
• Now reflect on your life as it is currently. Ask yourself questions like the following:
  • Am I on track to be there in 5 years? (or whatever period you chose)
  • What changes will I have to make right now to make this a reality?
  • What are the first steps I can make today?
  • How will my strengths and weaknesses help or hinder me getting there?

There is great value in both writing the letter and doing the assessment of your current direction. It can be valuable to do the reflection of your current state a while after originally writing the letter. Start by rereading it.

Remember that where we see ourselves in the future is likely to change, and therefore doing this activity occasionally can help you assure that you are heading the right direction.

Write a letter to your past self

This activity is about looking back at the person you were with the information you have now. As with writing letters to your future self, five years is often used as the point in the past to look back to – it provides sufficient distance for change to have happened but close enough to be tangible and within your memory.

This letter will focus on what you advice you would give your past self and tell them about what has happened between then and now.

Steps

• Identify a date in the past – you might choose one immediately before a transition (for example, before going to university or a big life change)
• Write the letter to yourself to be received on that day
• Write it as an actual letter
• In the letter address questions like the following:
  • What are some of the main things you have learned since then?
  • What should your past self look out for?
  • What is the best advice you could give your past self?
  • What would you tell yourself to get through some of the challenges that you faced?
  • What would you tell yourself about your successes and the way you dealt with them?
  • What type of people have helped you along the way?
  • What type of people have made life harder?
  • Who do you wish you had spent more time with?
• Once done read the letter again. Does it seem right? Do you want to make any changes?
• When you are happy with your letter, continue to the next step immediately or put it away for a couple of days and then return to it (recommended).
• Now reflect on your life as it is currently. Ask yourself questions like the following:
  • Of the advice you have given to your past self, how much of it are you following today? How could you follow the advice better?
  • Are there some people or types of people you wish you had spent more or less time with? How can you change that now?
  • What else can you take away and apply better to your life and your immediate future?

There is great value in both writing the letter and doing the assessment of your current direction. It can be valuable to do the reflection of you current state a while after originally writing the letter. Start by rereading it.

Remember that hindsight is wonderful but it is not realistic or fair to expect that in the past we could have anticipated all that would come. The aim of this letter is to reflect on and learn from our experiences, and to use this reflection to inform our current and future thinking and behaviour.

Back to ‘Reflecting for self-awareness’